Every once in awhile, Shaun and I will talk about our relationship on our podcast. I don’t know if I ever really talk about how much I truly do appreciate him. He is my soulmate, my best friend and my life partner. I want to talk about a few things that I feel are integral in our relationship that I don’t know if people are aware of.
We communicate.
This is the most important one, and we talk about this often on the podcast. My all time saying is if you don’t feel comfortable bringing up anything, then why are you with them. Obviously, I don’t need to tell Shaun everything, but I trust Shaun enough that I could bring up anything and it will be a civil conversation. There will be times where he won’t be happy, but we talk it through and come up with a compromise. We respect that there are some things we have a different opinion on, and we get annoyed. But if we didn’t communicate our feelings then we will always be a ball of pent up energy that gets released at a bad time and can cause major issues.
While you are communicating (especially in the beginning of a new relationship), make sure your ideals are similar. It is only going to cause you major headaches if you have different political views on everything, different political views on money or children. It will not matter how much you love someone, if they will not change their opinion in some of these major topics, it will eventually come crashing down. There are so many people out in the world, so if you want to be with someone who you can have a passionate conversation on how you are going to spend your investment money then go find that person. You should make sure you have those similar passions so there will be fun conversations between the two of you.
Love Languages.
This is something small that can make a huge impact. Shaun and I both know our love languages and we play into those more than other things. Love language aren’t these big things you have to think of either. They are small gestures that can mean a lot to the other person. Shaun likes words of affirmation, so I make sure to tell him how good he looks, how proud I am of him and etc. Mine is quality time, so he allows time every night for us to just sit and talk about our day, or watch TV together. I am honestly fine with doing anything, as long as he is near me. It isn’t anything big, but these are the things that continue to bring happiness into our relationship.
Hobbies.
Make sure you have a hobby that both of you like and you each have your own. I think this is helpful, because there will be times when your partner is not there or you want alone time. When this happens you have an escape that will bring you happiness. Then, you make sure you have a hobby you can do together. This makes for an easy date night. Shaun and I have a few passions that we can do together or separate. I might get mad that he goes and golfs without me at times, but I know he enjoys escaping me and hanging out with friends so I let it go. Just make sure you have those fun little escapes you can go do when it is needed.
Life is short and you should plan on being with your partner for the entirety of what is left, so enjoy it. I’m not saying to leave them if you aren’t happy, but you should start with communicating with them. My last piece of advice, is to continue to fight for them. As soon as you give up fighting for them, then you are quitting your relationship. A relationship is a job for life and you need to make sure you are putting in maximal effort and that you are getting it in return. When that doesn’t happen then sit down and re-write your plan and figure out those hiccups.
From Your Life Tutor
-Sam
Tutors of Life 