The Power of Difficult Conversations

This week I had a couple difficult conversations. They were conversations I was not looking forward to having but knew they needed to be had. I have to admit, the conversations were not fun but once they were done, it was a huge weight off of my chest. We tend to ruminate on a problem, play out the scenarios in our heads and make a situation worse than they really are. Then when we get into the conversation, we realize it is not as bad as we had convinced ourselves it would be.

My first conversation I had was to cancel a real estate deal I had under contract, due to financing and insurance. The deal worked with the original financing I was hoping to get and with the owners original figures he gave me for expenses. Once I was unable to secure the financing I was hoping for, the deal was still possible but tight. Once I got the insurance quote back, it was a couple thousand higher than originally told, which made the deal not worth it. I would be losing around $1500 a month and once the property gets stabilized it would only make us $400 a month. It did not give us much wiggle room if we ran into any complications. So, after a weekend of contemplating we decided, for our financial security, we would not be able to proceed with the deal.

I planned to call the owner at the end of the work day, 430pm. He ended up calling me around 415pm for an update on how insurance went. I told him the situation, let him know we would not be able to proceed with closing, due to financing and insurance being higher than expected. We had grounds to back out of the deal to secure our earnest money but I let him keep it, since we were supposed to close this week and I had just found out what insurance was going to be. The sellers were not happy at first but after I explained the situation, they understood and did not want me to be put in a bad spot. They were grateful we let them keep the earnest money and we each wished each other the best.

I was not looking forward to the conversation, it was quite uncomfortable and tough at first, we made it through that call without too much animosity. We then had another call 15 minutes later, which ended friendly and on positive terms. In all, it went a lot better than my mind had expected it to go.

Next, I had to send an email to my property management company to terminate services. This was uncomfortable, it was something I was hoping we would not have to do because I made a connection and really liked the owner. However, I was not okay with the standard my property was being managed at, so I had to make the call to take over management. I have resorted to email conversations for anything which could be needed for legal situations in the future. This is why I opted for email over phone call. I prefer phone calls but phone calls can be misinterpreted or taken out of context.

After I sent the email, the reply I received was sincere and professional. It was a lot of stressing out on my end for nothing. It was another example of overthinking, overanalyzing, and ruminating on a conversation I had to have, which turned out fine.

By having these conversations, we build our mental strength. We build up our tolerance for what is a big deal and what is not a big deal (Problems I used to think were problems 2 years ago, do not phase me anymore). It often times reminds us, we should not ruminate on a situation because it will not be as bad as we think it will be. Lastly, its more personal development, which will help me as I progress in life and business.

If you need to have some difficult conversations, quit playing the conversations over in your head and go have them.

Your life Tutor

-Shaun Tutor


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