Do you ever get upset with people for doing something you did not want them to do? Have you had a child, spouse, significant other, friend, or employee do something wrong or without your approval? Has there been times when you questioned why others did not do what you wanted them to do? I imagine most of you have, the question is, did you tell these people your expectations of them?
Did you layout exactly what you want from your child, your spouse, or your employee? Did you give them clear expectations of what you expected from them. Did you show them and explain how you would like the task to be done? More likely than not, the answer is no. We think people can read our minds, then when they do not do what we want (even though we did not tell them), we get upset.
So… what can we do to prevent getting angry at people? We can give them clear expectations of what we want from them. We can teach them how we would like it done. Then we can tell them how we would like to see it. Then, if they mess up, do it wrong, or do not do it at all, then you can check back in to see if they did not understand. Maybe they did not understand what you taught them. Maybe they did not understand what you expected. Lastly, maybe it was them and they did not want to do it. If that is the case, you can be upset and reprimand them. Until then, it is your fault, not theirs. Which means you should not get upset until you have went through those steps
- Explain what you want from someone
- Show or teach them how to do it
- Set clear expectations
- Follow up
Follow this process and you can be assured, if someone is messing up consistently, it is not your fault, it is theirs, and you need to either look for someone else, or reprimand them.
Your life Tutor
-Shaun Tutor
Tutors of Life 