If you looked at my past post, you will see that I talked about mental strength. There is one common way that people measure mental toughness and that is looking at the 4 C’s which are key components to it. These are control, commitment, challenge and confidence. This week we will break down and talk about control.

Control can also be described as your self-esteem. Having a high sense of control means that you do not show emotions in different situations. You will feel like you have control over your life and what is happening in it. Having lower control in your life will make you feel like you have no control over what happens in your life. I kind of like to compare these to people who have a negative and a positive outlook on life.

We have discussed in previous posts about how having a positive outlook on life, it feels like good events happen without you really trying. It shows that you have control over your life and you have a high self-worth as well. These people as well will admit to their faults in their life and won’t blame actions or events on others. By having a higher control in your life too, and admitting to your faults, it is easier to control your emotions. You don’t react to situations, you take them in as they go along and deal with the scenario. When using emotions in situations, it usually causes more issues and others to react against you as well. By staying calm in situations, it can lift the spirits of the people around you as well. So by not using emotions you are most likely going to get a better outcome and keep the positivity in your life.

People that have a lower control in their lives are more negative minded. They will always think of the worst case scenario and will bring that into the situation with them. This will cause them to act with their emotions and usually will make them over-react. If you have ever seen a situation where someone is getting yelled at, the other party has a hard time controlling their emotions as well. This will usually end with both parties yelling at each other and nothing getting solved. If the first person would have gone into the situation calm and without emotions, they most likely would have had a positive experience and the other party would be more willing to help them.

If you have a higher control level, you will be less distracted by emotions and can “get on with it” easier. This also makes you feel that you have a sense of purpose, you are comfortable with yourself and you have a good sense of who you are. This stems from the fact that you take ownership of all of your action and the events that are happening around you. So if you take ownership of the fact that you are a procrastinator, then you will have an easier time working around that part of yourself. This will allow you to be more willing to change things to improve yourself along the way as well. If you don’t accept these parts of yourself, then you will never be able to improve and change for the better. How can you improve on something if you don’t know or acknowledge that it is there?

I think a good way to start improving control, is writing down a list of characteristics for yourself and make sure to think hard and be honest with yourself. If you are a compulsive liar, an over exaggerator, a stress eater, whatever it is that you don’t want to acknowledge you are, WRITE IT DOWN. This is the first step into accepting your strengths and weaknesses, and then you can start improving both of those to take back control on your life.

Well, next week we will talk about commitment and keep working on our mental toughness.

Stay strong
From Your Life Tutor


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